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Price 25 Cts. 


Vera’s 
Vacation 

Ji Drama in Three Jfcts 

By Louise Rand Bascom 

Author of “The Masonic Ring,” “The Golden 
Goblet,” etc. 



This accomplished author 
has done nothing better 
than this absorbing story 
of a summer vacation 
and the marvelous trans¬ 
formation of a grouchy 
father into a genial friend. 
The summer boarders are 
all eccentric characters, 
and the opportunities are 
immense. Clean, whole¬ 
some, elegant, strongly 
recommended; 4 male, 5 
female characters. 


Copyright, 1912, 

BY 

March Brothers. 


MARCH BROTHERS, Publisher* 

208, 210, 212 Wright Are., Lebanon, O. 



No Entertainments Exchanged. 

No Entertainments sent on selection or subject to return . 








An Anti “Saloon Play 
A Washington Song 
A Book of Dialogs 

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ARCHIBALD HUMBOLDT 

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Three-quarter hour. 15 cents. 


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MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers, 

208, 210, 212 Wright Ave., - Lebanon, Ohio 




Vera’s Vacation 


A Drama in Three Acts 


By 

LOUISE RAND BASCOM 

w 

Author of “The Masonic Ring,” 
“The Golden Goblet,” etc. 


) 

•» > 


MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 

208, 210, 212 WRIGHT AVE., LEBANON, OHIO 










Copyright, 1912, 

BY 

March Brothers. 



/ 

©CI.D 30803 

"VU3 / * 




CAST OF CHARACTERS 


Josiah Blake, an irascible farmer, who takes 
paying guests in the summer time. 

Elvira Blake, his patient wife. 

Alice Blake, his college daughter. 

Toby Blake, his overworked son. 

Vera Verrington, a college chum of Alice. 

Alonzo Bundy, a specialist on Lepidoptera. 

Elise Bundy, his giggling wife. 

Roy Throckmorton, M. D., a young fisherman. 

Anna Throckmorton, his mother. 

Farm-hands, Neighbors, etc. 


synopsis 

Act I.—Josiah Blake’s Kitchen. 

Act II.—Josiah Blake’s Sitting Room. 

Act III.—Feed Room in Josiah Blake’s Stable. 

Place.—A Country Farmhouse. 

Time.—Present. 


COSTUMES 


Blake wears an old pair of homespun or denim 
trousers, a patched coat and a stiff-bosomed shirt, 
minus collar and tie. He has a square red or 
gray beard and is partly bald. 

Mrs. Blake is plainly and neatly dressed—a 
wholesome little woman witlda half-worried look. 

Alice dresses in shirt waist suits. She, too, 
has a worried expression. 

Toby wears overalls, has his shirt sleeves rolled 
up above his elbows, and a bandana handkerchief 
about his neck. 

Vera wears handsome clothes. She is rather 
dignified and grave, contrasting with Alice, who 
is nervous and quick in her speech and move¬ 
ments. 

Bundy is a slim, spectacled, stoop-shouldered 
individual. His tie is awry and his face has 
the blank expression which indicates absent- 
mindedness and concentration. 

Mrs. Bundy dresses in fluffy up-to-date gowns. 

Roy is a young “swell.” 

Mrs. Throckmorton wears a white lace cap 
and dresses in black. She has the manner of 
one with an important announcement to make. 


STAGE DIAGRAMS 


ACT I 



X. 

Door. 

T. 

Table. 

C. 

Chair. 

w. 

Window. 

S. 

Stove. 

D. 

Stool. 

M. 

Milk Safe. 

L. 

Lamp Shelf. 

' K. 

W oodbox. 


ACT II 



X. Door. T. Table. P. Piano. 

W. Window. S. Stove. D. Stool. 

C. Chair. 


ACT III 



X. 

Door. 

T. 

B. 

Bins. 

F. 

D. 

Barrel. 

S. 


Shovels, Hoes, etc. 
Hooks with Harness 
Sacks of Feed. 


C. Box. 

A. Gunny Sacks. 
FI. Pile of Hay. 




























































' 















Vera’s Vacation 


ACT I. 

Scene.— Kitchen in JosiaJi Blake's farmhouse. The 
room is bare and unprepossessing, with pots and pans 
hanging from the walls. Under the roller towel down 
R. stands a small table, bearing soap, a tin basin, and a 
bucket of water. A shelf of lamps decorates the rear 
wall, and beneath the shelf are tzvo barrels. There is 
a stove across the corner up L. with a woodbox nearby. 
Windows are found up R. and down L. with a screened 
milk safe under the latter; doors R. C., R. Back and 
L. C. A long kitchen table stands dow-n C. with a high 
stool L. and a chair back of it, in which Alice is dis¬ 
covered sitting, her face buried in her arms. A pan of 
partly peeled potatoes sets near her. 

(Enter Toby R. C. with an armful of wood. 
He sees Alice’s position and tiptoes around her 
listening. Finally he bends over her cautiously, 
but, being apparently unsatisfied, he backs off 
and says, “P-st.” Observing that this is without 
effect, he throws down the wood. Alice starts 
up, nervously. Seeing Toby, she yawns, rubs her 
eyes, and hurriedly tucks into her dress a scrap 
of paper and pencil.) 

Toby. Oh, hecky! I thought you was cryin’ 
an’ here ye air a snoozin’ when you’d ought to be 
gittin’ supper. (Picks up a half-peeled potato.) 
Pa’ll give you fits fur parin’ it that way. You 
ain’t left much but the eye. 


7 



8 


vera's vacation. 


Alice (resuming peeling). Father won’t know. 

Toby. Thar ain’t much happens on this here 
farm that pa don’t know—just put that in your 
manger! 

Alice (shivering). Don't, Toby. You make 
me feel uncomfortable. Where’s mother?* 

Toby. Cleanin’ up after some of the parlor 
hogs, I reckon. (Picks up wood.) 

Alice. Parlor hogs? Is that a new breed? 

Toby (laughing uproariously as he carries the 
wood to the box). Ha! ha! They teach you a 
lot at college, don’t they? Ha! ha! That’s my 
name for the boarders. Most of ’em ain’t as 
decent as our Berkshires. Say, what was you 
cryin’ about? 

Alice. I wasn’t crying. I was doing some 
figuring and it put me to sleep, that’s all. I didn’t 
rest well last night. 

Toby. Shouldn’t think you would’ve. The 
way you cleaned and pranced about the house 
all day you’d think you was expectin’ a feller or 
somethin’. (Looks about furtively.) Got any 
cookies ? 

Alice. Yes, but I’m saving them. 

Toby. Saving them? You! Didn’t know you 
was gittin’ the stingy sickness, too. Go on now 
and git me one ’fore somebody comes. 

Mrs. Blake (entering L. C. with an ash tray, 
the contents of which she empties in the stove). 
Toby, do you mean to say you’ve only carried in 
one armload of wood since dinner? Pa’ll be 
right wrathy with you! Mr. Bundy’s cornin’ 




vera's vacation. 


9 


back from town on the 5 : 03, and you was to 
take the Dayton and go to the station for him. 

Toby (approaching door R. C.). Oh, hecky! 
This place is just nothin’ but work, work, work! 
Wouldn’t keer ef you got somethin’ fur it, but 
you don’t. Pa’s nothin’ but an old skinflint, 
that’s what he is! (Makes noisy exit.) 

Mrs. Blake (looking after him, reproachfully). 
Why, Toby! 

Alice (rising). Mother, it’s true. He’s just 
ruining the lives of us all. 

Mrs. Blake. You oughtn’t to say that, 
daughter. He let you go to college. 

Alice (bitterly). With the money grand¬ 
mother left me! It nearly killed him, too! 
(Ready to sob.) It puts us in an awful position 
to have him so ungenerous, so—so— 

Mrs. Blake (quickly). Well, it can’t be helped. 
Your father’s dictated all his life and it ain’t for 
us to rise against him now. Better finish those 
potatoes before he comes in. (Goes down R. 
and fills kettle with water.) 

Alice (aside). How can I tell her? (Resum¬ 
ing seat.) Mother! (Pause.) Mother! 

Mrs. Blake. What is it? 

Alice. I—I’ve invited a college friend here for 
this month ! 

Mrs. Blake (aghast). What! 

Alice (with feigned calm). It’s Vera, the girl 
I owe so much to. I had to repay her kindnesses 
in some way, and when I found she wanted to 


10 


vera’s vacation. 


go to the country this summer, I asked her here 
for six weeks. 

Mrs. Blake (in agitation). But your father 
will never take her in. He wouldn’t let one of 
his own relations room here unless he was paid 
for it. You know his rules as well as I do. 

Alice. I’m not asking him to take her for 
nothing. I made a hundred dollars on the col¬ 
lege magazine last year, and I intend to pay her 
board. 

Mrs. Blake. Pa’ll think he ought to have the 
hundred anyhow ’thout feedin’ anybody fur it. 

Alice. He’s not going to know. I’ve faked a 
letter to him from Vera saying she wants a room 
and meals. Then I’m planning to give him 
money in an envelope from her every week so 
he’ll believe sheVa boarder. She'll think she’s a 
guest, and my honor will be saved without any 
row with father. 

Mrs. Blake (gasping). Why—I—I never 
heard of such a thing. Suppose—suppose he 
finds out! He usually does find out things, 
daughter, and he can’t tolerate deception. 

Mrs. Throckmorton (entering with a serious 
face that betokens trouble). Mrs. Blake, could 
I speak with you a moment, please? (Draws 
Mrs. Blake down L.) 

Mrs. Blake (anxiously wiping her hands on 
her apron). Why, of course. Any time you 
want to, Mrs. Throckmorton. 

Mrs. Throckmorton (confidentially). Did you 
take the ash tray oft* the parlor table? 


vera’s vacation. 


11 


Mrs. Blake. Yes, I was just goin’ to clean it. 
Somebody a wantin’ it already? 

Mrs. Throckmorton. Only me. I wanted to 
get a few of the ashes to clean my teeth, you 
know. They say there isn’t anything like cigar 
ashes for that, and Roy doesn’t smoke. 

Mrs. Blake. I’m real sorry, but I’ve thrown 
the last one of ’em in the stove. I’ll try to save 
’em for you next time, though. You sure stove 
ashes won’t do? 

Mrs. Throckmorton. I’m afraid not. The 
woman’s page in the Times didn’t say anything 
about those, and I don’t believe in folks experi¬ 
mentin’ on their own hook. Something’s sure to 
come of it. (Backs up stage, then halts.) By 
the way, do you suppose I could have a glass of 
milk? I find I’m very hungry. 

Mrs. Blake (hastily looking at the door). 
Why—er—I suppose so. (More cordially.) 
Yes, of course, you can. (Goes to milk safe and 
pours out a glass of milk.) I love to see folks 
hungry. Want me to take this to your room for 
you ? 

Mrs. Throckmorton. No, thank you, I’ll just 
drink it here. (Begins sipping it.) My, but 
you certainly do have delicious milk and butter 
and eggs. Roy’s getting downright fat on— 
(Stops in consternation as Blake enters R. C.) 

Blake. Air ye a drinkin’ milk reg’lar now, 
Mrs. Throckmorton? 

Mrs. Throckmorton. No; oh, no. 


12 


vera’s vacation. 


Blake. Wal, I jest thought ef you was a git- 
tin’ it every atternoon we’d hev to raise the price 
of your board some. Ye see every drop you 
drink takes that much from the chickens and 
the hogs, an’ 1 hev to pay out cold cash to git 
’em somethin’ in place of it. 

Mrs. Throckmorton. Really, this is the first 
glass I’ve had, Mr. Blake. (Sets down glass, 
scarcely touched.) 

Blake. Wal, ye kin hev the milk ef ye want 
it. I jest thought I’d tell ye, though, so there 
wouldn’t be no kick when ye come to settle up. 
I’ll make a price of five cents a glass when you 
take atternoon milk by the week. When ye 
drink it onct in awhile like this, it'll be ten 'cents, 
I guess. 

Mrs. Throckmorton (confusedly, as she has¬ 
tens to door L. C.). Yes, very well. Thank you. 
I—I’ll speak to my son about it. (Exit.) 

Blake (coming down R. to wash basin and 
washing his hands). I believe we’re a goin’ to 
take in some money this summer. Looks like 
the house's a goin’ ter be full. 

Mrs. Blake (timidly). Is there some more 
folks cornin’ ? 

Blake. I don’t know whether they’re cornin’ 
or not. I’ve jest got a letter from somebody 
named Vera Verrington, but I don’t know as 
I’ll take her in. 

Alice (anxiously). Why not, father? We’ve 
got three unoccupied rooms. 


vera’s vacation. 


13 


Blake. Wal, I'm afraid of a woman with a 
name like that. She’s probably one o’ these here 
play-actresses that'll ruin the reputation of my 
house. 

Alice. But her money is as good as anybody 
else’s, isn’t it? 

Blake (crossing to large table and taking a let¬ 
ter from his pocket). Wal, I reckon so. Seems 
she’s coinin’ in this atternoon. Must want to git 
here mighty bad not to wait fur an answer. I 
don’t like bold folks like that. Says (reads) : 
“Dear Mr. Blake: Having heard of you favor¬ 
ably from Mrs. Perkins”—never could abide that 
woman—“who was with you a number of years 
ago, I write to engage a room for six weeks. 
The best you have at about $15.00 per week will 
be satisfactory. Will reach Cloverfield the after¬ 
noon of the 15th. Very truly yours, Vera Ver- 
rington.” 

Alice (in feigned surprise). Oh, this after¬ 
noon! I’d better go get a room ready for her. 
(Starts up stage to door R. Back.) 

Blake. I guess maybe it’d be as well. Fix up 
the gable room. 

Alice (turning in amazement). The gable 
room ! Why, that’s only ten dollars a week! She 
asks for a fifteen-dollar room. 

Blake. Wal, 1 guess she won’t know the dif¬ 
ference. Ef she’s so sot on coinin’ she kin take 
what I want to give her, I guess. Mebbe I kin 
git fifteen dollars from somebody else fur that 
there second floor room. 


14 


vera’s vacation. 


Alice. But I—I’ve got the second floor room 
already fixed, and—and— 

Blake. You have? Wal, hereatter you leave 
the rooms alone till I tell you about ’em. Take 
the sheets an’ things from the second floor room 
an’ put ’em in the gable room. There’s no use of 
you a mussin’ things up ’thout no reason. 

(Alice turns, brushes away the tears, and 
makes exit.) 

Blake. That gal’s plumb demented sence she 
went to college, seems like. I knowed no good’d 
come of throwin’ away money that away. Per¬ 
haps ef we kin keep her down to good hard work 
this summer, we kin cure her o’ some of her 
foolishness. (Sits down in chair and rocks back 
and forth on the legs.) 

Mrs. Blake. I—I wouldn’t be too harsh with 
her, pa. She’s been studyin’ hard, you know, 
and ought to have some recreation. 

Blake (sniffing). Recreation! Re-cre-atin’ 
is what she needs. Don’t seem like a daughter of 
mine at all. 

Mrs. Bandy (entering L. C. with a hot-water 
bag). 1 just come down to get some—(Sees 
Blake, hastily conceals bag behind her, giggling 
foolishly.) Tee-hee, you’re in early, aren’t you, 
Mr. Blake? 

Blake (tartly). No, I reckon not! What was 
it my cornin’ interrupted you doin’ ? 

Mrs. Bundy. Oh, nothing, tee-hee! I just 
wanted to find out what the thermometer had 




vera’s vacation. 


15 


registered to-day. Bundy will want to know 
when he comes home. Tee-hee! 

Blake. The thermometer’s out on the oak. 
You kin look at it ef you want to, but Tve got 
somethin’ else to do besides keepin’ track of 
thermometers fur folks. 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, I just thought—tee- 
hee—that you might have looked, tee-hee! 

Blake. No, 1 ain’t. Now about these here 
trips o’ yourn down to the kitchen. You folks 
take up so much of my wife’s time that I’ll hev 
to be a gittin’ her a hired gal ef it keeps up, an’ 
o’ course I’ll hev to raise your rates to pay fur 
that. I’m jest warnin’ ye, y’ understand, so there 
won’t be any kick cornin’. You asked fur room 
an’ board—never said nothin’ about service an’ 
extra milk an’ water. I’ve guv ye what ye asked 
fur, but I reckon you kin see that I can’t give ye 
gold plates an’ cut chiny fur twelve-fifty a week. 
You’ll see my pint, I guess, ef you stop to think 
about it. 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee-tee-hee! (Backs out 
L. C. in a gale of giggling.) 

Blake. Durned ef she don’t sound like them 
gable wrens. What in Job’s name is she a titterin’ 
about anyhow! Jest hand me a drink, will ye, 
Elviry ? 

Alice (entering with a pitcher). Is there any 
hot water? It’s nearly time for the train, and 
I thought I’d better carry a little up to Ver— 
Miss Verrington’s room. 


16 


vera's vacation. 


Blake. You’ll do nothin’ of the kind. Ef ye 
start out that away with her, she'll be expectin’ 
things all the time, an’ I’m a tryin’ to break ’em 
of that. They don’t git nothin’ extry ’nless they 
pay fur it, so don’t you go around waitin’ on ’em 
ef they ain’t made some arrangemint with me. 
(Rises.) Guess I’d better go see that Toby gits 
off. The lump’s gittin’ so infernally stupid I 
can’t seem to trust him a-tall. 

Toby (entering R. C. ). George wants to know 
ef he kin take the little wrench home with him 
to-night. Says he wants to fix the buggy so his 
wife kin drive to town to-morry. 

Blake. George who? 

Toby. Why, haymaker George, of course. 
Did you think it was George Washington ? 

Blake. Don’t give me none o’ your sass. Tell 
him I said he couldn’t take the wrench nor 
nothin’ else. His wife don’t need to go to town. 
She’d better stay home an’ look atter her work. 
You kin tell him, too, fur him to stop at Uncle 
Sim’s on his way an’ say to him that Aunt Marty 
can’t stay here while he’s gone. Nobody’ll ever 
stay in my house that don’t pay board; that’s 
flat. Now what ye waitin’.fur? 

Toby. Will says— 

Blake. He wants some of his wages. Wal, 
he won’t git none to-night. I’ll git a month’s 
interest on that money out of the bank ef I leave 
it there till Saturday. Git a move on you now 
an’ hook up the Dayton. (Exit Toby.) Wal 
(looks at nickeled watch), dodgastet, anyhow. 


vera's vacation. 


17 


The fool’s a goin’ ter miss that there train, ef 
he don’t hurry. (Starts for door R. C.) You 
mind me now, Alice. I won t hev no water took 
up to that there Verrington woman ’thout I tell 
ye to. (Exit.) 

Alice (going to stove). I will, too, take up 
some water. I won’t have Vera coming into the 
house and not have any comforts. Why, she’ll 
think—I don’t know what she’ll think, and— 

Mrs. Blake. You jest can’t have her, daugh¬ 
ter. It’ll all leak out and there’ll be an awful 
fuss. (Goes to window R. C. excitedly.) You 
cut across lots and meet Toby an’ git him to take 
you to the station. When your friend gits off 
the train you kin tell here we’ve got sickness or—- 
or somethin’ an’ she can’t come! 

Alice. What, and leave her kindnesses unre¬ 
turned ! It’s a case of noblesse oblige , mother, 
and I can’t turn her away. I can’t! I can’t! 

Mrs. Blake (distressed). But your pa’ll order 
her away when he finds out the truth, and he’ll 
know the whole thing the minute she comes by 
the way you both act. 

Alice (eagerly). No, he won’t! Indeed, he 
won’t! I wrote Vera that father couldn’t stand 
any demonstration, and that if he saw any when 
she first came, he’d watch us all the time. So 
we’re hardly going to speak at first in order to 
divert his suspicions, and then perhaps we can 
have good times together. 

Mrs. Blake. I think you’re perfectly crazy. 
You know your pa intends for you to work this 


18 


vera's vacation. 


summer, and how you expect to entertain a 
friend and do your chores, too, is more’n I see. 

Alice. But I’ve paid the little Frady girl to 
come over and prepare vegetables and things 
while Vera’s here. She’s to tell father she wants 
to get the experience and is doing it for nothing. 

Mrs. Blake. Well, I never! You’re goin’ to 
git mixed up on all them lies. Mark my words! 

Alice (filling pitcher from water on the stove). 
No, Providence will protect me because I’m try¬ 
ing to do the right thing. 

Mrs. Blake. We’ll see. I hope so for your 
sake, I’m sure, but it seems like Providence’s 
kind o’ tricky sometimes. 

Mrs. Throckmorton (sticking her head in 
L.C.). Has he gone? 

Alice. Toby? 

Mrs. Throckmorton. Mr. Blake. 

Alice. Yes; won’t you come in? 

Mrs. Throckmorton (entering). I went out in 
such a flurry I forgot to tell your mother what I 
came for. Could I speak to you a minute, Mrs. 
Blake ? 

Mrs. Blake (withdrawing her hands from a 
bowl of floury stuff). What can I do for you, 
Mrs. Throckmorton ? 

Mrs. Throckmorton (very confidentially). I 
feel that I must tell you, Mrs. Blake, that you’ve 
got the whitest towels in your house that I 
ever saw. 

Mrs. Blake (sinking into a chair weakly). Oh! 


vera’s vacation. 


19 


Mrs. Throckmorton. What’s the matter with 
you, Mrs. Blake—you look faint. (Alice sets 
down pitcher and rushes to her mother’s side.) 

Mrs. Blake (gasping). It ain’t nothin’, nothin’ 
at all. I thought you was a goin’ to tell me some¬ 
thin’ turrible, that’s all. Guess I’m kind o’ nar- 
vous to-day. 

Roy (entering R. C. in muddy fishing cos¬ 
tume). Jiminy-gee! But you ought to see her! 
(Stands holding door ajar and peeking out.) 
Jumping Jennies, but she’s a good looker! Some 
class there all right! (Sound of wheels.) 

Alice. Who? What? (Rushes to window 

r.) 

Roy. The new boarder. She’s coming in with 
old Bundy. Oh, me, oh my, I must run change 
my clothes. (Starts up back stairs.) No, I’ll 
meet her this way. (Runs L. C.) Hello, 
mother, how are you ? Put me next her for 
supper, Mrs. Blake, and I’ll bring home ten 
trout to-morrow. (Exit.) 

Mrs. Throckmorton (puzzled). But I always 
sit next him at table. What ails the boy? 
(Calls.) Roy! Roy! (Goes after him calling.) 
Roy, you' didn’t kiss mother ! (Exit.) 

Alice. It is Vera! It is,.it is! Oh, what shall 
I do? Father’s taking her upstairs—and oh, 
mother, Mr. Bundy’s carrying her suitcase. 
(Hops up and down in excitement.) 

Mrs. Blake. Well, ain’t you goin’ up to see 
her ? 


20 


vera’s vacation. 


Alice. I guess I’d better wait till father leaves. 

Mrs. Blake. Did you set the table? 

Alice. Oh, mother, I forgot it! I’m awfully 
sorry. 

Mrs. Blake. I’ll go an’ do it. You can run 
up the back way when your pa comes down. 
(Exit L. C.) 

Alice (listening at door R. Back). Oh, it’s 
too good to be true ! Too good to be true ! (Lis¬ 
tening.) Now who’s coming down? (Closes 
door quickly and starts toward the stove.) 

Vera (entering R. Back). Alice! 

Alice. Vera! (The girls run together and 
embrace.) I’ve dreamed about this so long, and 
at last it’s a reality! I can hardly believe it. 

Vera. Six whole weeks with you, dear! Six 
weeks! Think of the rides and walks we shall 
take in the woods! And of the sewing and talk¬ 
ing we shall do under these grand trees ! They’re 
wonderful, dear. I never saw anything so 
lovely. 

Alice (ecstatically). Oh, I’m so glad you like 
the place. You just must, must have a good time 
here. 

Vera. How can I help it with all those ador¬ 
able little fuzzy-wuzzy ducks and that big blue 
pond—and you ! You never told me half enough 
about the beauties of Cloverfield. Are you get¬ 
ting supper ? Let me help, do ! 

Alice (uncomfortably). Thank you, no, dear. 
I’ll be up to your room in a minute. I was just 
going to carry some warm water to you. 


vera’s vacation. 


21 


Vera. Give me the water. You shan’t wait 
on me. (Takes pitcher and starts toward door 
R. Back.) You sure voir 11 be only a minute? 

Alice (putting a stick of wood in the stove). 
Honor bright—just a minute. 

Vera. Hurry, then. I’ve got trunkloads to 
tell you. (Exit.) 

Alice (with a sigh of relief). Everything is 
going fine. I was sure it would! (There is a 
crash on the back stairs.) 

Vera (re-entering with a troubled face). 
Alice, will you ever forgive me? I’ve broken 
your pitcher! 

Alice (breathlessly). Oh—oh, that’s all right. 
You run up to your room and I’ll sweep up the 
pieces. (Hurries to door R. Back.) 

Blake (entering from door R. Back). Wal, 
I’ll be durned! Don’t seem like folks could any- 
more’n git inside this house till they air a livin’ 
in the kitchen. This trip fur extra water’ll cost 
ye one-eighty-five, miss. The bowl’s well nigh 
useless with the pitcher broke, an’ you'll hev to 
settle fur the whole thing. Do you want to pay 
fur it now or wait till the end of— 

Alice (frantically). Father, father, she didn’t 
break the pitcher ! I broke it! 


Tableau and Curtain. 


22 


vera's vacation. 


ACT II. 

Scene.— Parlor of Josiah Blake's farmhouse. The 
walls are covered zvith hideous oil paintings and engrav¬ 
ings. There is a stove down R., zvith a rocking chair 
near it; a practicable window is found R. C., also an 
upright piano and stool across the corner R. Back, two 
chairs at Back, and a door L. Back. There is a marble- 
topped table in the center of the room zvith an album 
and other useless things upon it. Another table stands 
in front of the zvindow L. C., at zvhich Bundy is seated 
at rise, immersed in making notes from several large 
books. 

(Enter Roy, L. Back, dressed in immaculate 
flannels. He wanders around the room for a 
moment, noisily turning the leaves of the album, 
etc.) 

Bundy (looking around reprovingly). Not 
fishing? 

Roy. Not to-day. Ah—er—seen the new¬ 

comer this morning? 

Bundy (resuming his work). Yes, indeed. 
I’m just writing it down. Wing expanse, three 
* and one-half inches, short thorax, bristle-shaped 
antennae, spurred tibia, and— 

Roy (open-mouthed). Huh! 

Bundy (absorbed). Beautiful coloring! 

Roy. You bet your life! 

Bundy. Unexcelled grace of movement. 

Roy. Divine! 

Bundy. Altogether one of the finest speci¬ 
mens of Lepidoptera that I’ve ever seen. I had 
no idea Cloverfield could produce such a moth i 


vera’s vacation. 


23 


Roy (crestfallen). Oh, I was talking of Miss 
Verrington. 

Mrs. Bundy (entering L. Back). Tee-hee, I 
have no doubt of it. We all are. She’s a 
charming girl, isn’t she, Bundy? 

Bundy. Yes, yes, my dear. 

Roy. She is indeed delightful. I—I’ve just 
been looking for her in the hopes she’d take a 
little walk with me. (Looks himself over.) Do 
you think she would? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee. Do you want her so 
very much ? 

Roy. Would I give up fishing to rig myself 
out like a sailboat if I wasn’t in earnest? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, tee-hee. We’ll have 
to arrange it for you. Won’t we, Bundy? 
(Stands behind Bundy’s chair.) 

Bundy. Certainly, my dear, certainly. (Turns 
in dazed way.) What is it we are going to do? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, you absent-minded old 
fuddle-head. We’re going to give Dr. Throck¬ 
morton a chance to have a tete-a-tete with Miss 
Verrington, aren’t we? 

Bundy. Since you suggest it, I’m sure a 
tete-a-tete with the—er—young person would 
be very pleasant. Er—what time? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, you funny old thing. 
I’m not going to let you tcte-a-tete with her. It’s 
for Dr. Throckmorton we want to arrange the 
meeting. Tee-hee, really I’m afraid it will be 
difficult, Doctor. I asked her to play tennis with 


24 


vera's vacation. 


me a moment ago and she said she was waiting 
for Miss Blake. 

Roy. Waiting for Miss Blake? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee. That’s what she said. 

Roy (starting for the door). Where was 
she? I’ll go find her. 

Mrs. Bundy. You don't need to. She’s com¬ 
ing right in. Ah—tee-hee, there she is now. 

Vera (entering R. C.). Good morning again. 
Has any one seen Miss Blake? 

Roy. I think she’s in the kitchen. She—ah 
—she’s rarely disengaged at this time of day. 
Shouldn’t you like to stroll down and take a 
look at the pond? 

Vera. Thank you, but I think I’ll wait for 
Miss Blake. 

Roy. Do you mind if I wait with you? 

Vera. Pray do, if you care to. (Seats her¬ 
self in rocker R.) 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, tee-hee, we were just 
going to take a little walk, too, weren’t we, 
Bundy? (Roy walks about the room again, ex¬ 
amining the pictures, etc., till the Bundys exeunt. 
Vera arranges a bunch of flowers she has 
brought with her.) 

Bundy. Yes, yes, indeed. (Pause.) 

Mrs. Bundy. Bundy? 

Bundy. Eh ? What ? 

Mrs. Bundy. Weren’t we? 

Bundy. Of course, my dear, of course. Er 
—er—(turning.) What was it we were going 
to do? 


vera's vacation. 


25 


Mrs. Bundy. Take your books and things out 
under the trees. (Begins gathering up books.) 

Bundy (apologetically). I’m very sorry, my 
dear; I had forgotten. (They go toward L. 
Back, and Bundy turns at the door to say ab¬ 
sently) Er—er—hope you catch your fish. 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee—tee-hee. (Both 

exeunt.) 

Roy (coming to a standstill near Vera). I 
suppose I ought to thank you for letting me stay 
with you, but Td counted on your playing with 
me this morning. Please reconsider and come 
down to the pond; it’s cooler there. 

Vera. Thank you, but I can’t. 

Roy. Then come sit with mother in the arbor. 
She’d love to talk to you and Td love to hear 
your answers. I know if you two got together 
you’d talk about fascinating things—gilliflowers 
and pansies and bluebirds. 

Vera (smiling). Your imagination flatters 
me, but really I think Td better wait for my 
hostess. 

Roy. Your hostess! 

Vera. Certainly. Miss Blake is a college 
friend of mine, you know. 

Roy. Why—er—I—we thought you were 
a boarder like the rest of us. I beg your par¬ 
don, but—it still seems so impossible that— 

Vera. What seems impossible? 

Roy. That you aren’t—er—paying for your 
stay. Pardon me again, but are you sure you 
aren’t ? 


26 


vera’s vacation. 


Vera. What do you mean, Dr. Throckmor¬ 
ton? I was invited here. 

Roy (confused). Yes, but—but it’s so ex¬ 
traordinary that you’ll forgive my surprise. 

Vera (ruminating). It's true Alice said her 
father kept a boarding house, but I did not un¬ 
derstand the invitation as one to board. Do you 
suppose I’ve blundered? Oh, I can’t have done 
so (rises and walks about), though, to tell the 
truth, Mr. Blake’s behavior to me was somewhat 
exceptional upon my arrival. 

Roy. Exactly. He never gave anybody so 
much as a toothpick in all his life, that man. 
He’s a big overgrown bully, too. The minute 
you get within sight of Cloverfield, the brake- 
man and the conductor and your fellow passen¬ 
gers begin to tell you what sort of man Blake 
is and what dire things will happen to you if 
you don’t do as he says. The result is that every¬ 
body arrives kotowing, and the old codger takes 
advantage of it. 

Mrs. Bundy (re-entering L. Back). Tee-hee, 
I forgot a book. (Finds it.) Tee-hee. (Vera 
and Roy turn and look after her as she makes 
her exit.) 

Vera. Really, you surprise me. His daughter 
is so charming that I never imagined for a mo¬ 
ment that her father was such a curmudgeon. 

Roy. His famify is nice, but he is horrid to it. 

Vera. Is he really nasty to his family? 

Roy. Unspeakably. 


vera’s vacation. 


27 


Vera. Why doesn’t somebody do something? 
That sort of man should be taken in hand. 

Roy. Everybody’s cowed. Besides, what’s to 
be done? 

Vera. I think 1 see. At' any rate I’m very 
grateful to you for explaining things to me. I 
shall set to work to make use of my vacation. 

Roy. How do you mean? 

Vera. Clearly Mr. Blake needs training. For 
the sake of my friend I shall look after him a 
little. He has evidently had his own way too 
long. 

Roy (admiringly). I like your nerve, but I 
wouldn’t dare to undertake it. Nobody ever got 
the better of him yet. 

Vera. Nobody ever tried persistently enough. 

Alice (entering L. Back). Oh, there you are. 
I’ve been kept so busy that I couldn’t get off 
before. I hope Dr. Idirockmorton has enter¬ 
tained you. 

Vera. Indeed he has. We’ve had quite a 
profitable conversation. 

Blake (entering L. Back). Alice! Alice! 
Where in Tophet’s my hat? 

Alice. I don’t know, father; I haven’t seen it. 

Blake. Git busy an’ hunt fur it, then. (Alice 
looks about and makes her exit still hunting for 
it.) Somebody’s alius movin’ my things. (Fu¬ 
riously.) Gosh durn it! Gosh durn it! (Slams 
over a chair.) This is the dangest house! 

Vera (sharply). Mr. Blake, kindly do not 
swear in my presence. (Roy chokes.) 


28 


vera’s vacation. 


Blake (staring). Wh-what? 

Vera. I do not like profanity. Please refrain 
from it. (Turns to Roy.) As I was saying, I 
have never cared for Botticelli especially. I much 
prefer Abbe and Sargent and Pyle—the men 
who splash warm color here and there. 

Roy. Me, too. Leyndecker and Harrison 
Fisher have got Millet and Whistler beat to a 
frazzle, I think. 

Blake (noting that he can't get a word in, 
makes exit, mumbling). Pll lie danged! 

Roy. You win. 

Vera. Don't congratulate me so soon. That’s 
only the beginning. 

Alice (entering L. Back). Well, here I am 
again. I don’t know how long I shall be here, 
though. Something unexpected seems to hap¬ 
pen every minute or so to take up time. 

Vera . Dr. Throckmorton has just offered to 
take us down to the pond. Suppose we accept 
his proposal and accompany him; that is, unless 
you have something you'd rather do. 

Alice. I was just going to suggest that we go 
down to pick some pond lilies. It’s cooler there; 
but first I’d like to speak to you a moment by 
yourself, if Dr. Throckmorton doesn't mind. 

Roy. Certainly not, if I’m to be included in 
the water-lily party. (Exit R. C.) 

Alice. I have not had a chance before to 
apologize to you about the pitcher episode. I 
felt I must. It was most unfortunate, but father 
is forgetful at times, and—and— 


vera’s vacation. 


29 


Vera. Don’t apologize. I quite understand, 
my dear. I have seen cases of your father’s dis¬ 
ease before. 

Alice. Why, what do you mean? He’s not 
sick. 

Vera (drawing Alice to her confidentially). 
Dear, your father’s a sick man. 

Alice. Oh, no! No! He can’t be. He’s so 
active and—and—I must get the doctor. 

Vera. Really, it is unnecessary. I am sure of 
it, and I have just been speaking of it to Dr. 
Throckmorton, who agrees with me. 

Alice. Oh, Vera, you frighten me terribly! 
What is it? 

Vera. I can’t give you the name of it, but I 
know the treatment. 

Alice. Oh, Vera, will you give it to him, or 
tell me how ? I shall be more your debtor than 
ever if you’ll only help me. 

Vera. For your sake, I have already made 
up my mind to spend my vacation curing him, 
but you must not object to anything I may do; 
and promise me, dear, that you won’t be angry 
with me. 

Alice. Angry with you? Oh, you angel! 

Blake (entering L. Back). Now I’ve lost that 
dod-gas-t-t-t-t—(sees Vera, swallows and sput¬ 
ters) hammer! 

Vera. Never mind the hammer. It will keep, 
I’m sure. We’re just going down to the pond. 
(Smiles sweetly.) Won’t you run upstairs and 
get my sunshade for me ? It’s right by my door. 


30 


vera’s vacation. 


Blake. Wh-what! 

Alice (terrified). Oh, oh, I’ll get it. Fa¬ 
ther’s too—too— 

Vera. Not old, surely. He seems quite a 
young man to me. 

Alice. Oh, no, he’s sick. You said— 

Blake. I’m old and sick, am I? Where’s your 
old dod—dod-doddering parashade? 

Vera. Right by the door. Thank you so 
much, Mr. Blake. (Exit Blake.) 

Alice (sitting down weakly). I—I thought 
you said he was sick! 

Vera. Certainly, but exercise is part of the 
cure. Don’t forget your promise. 

Roy (re-entering). Aren’t you people ever 
coming ? 

Vera. As soon as Mr. Blake comes down with 
my parasol. 

Roy. You didn’t send him upstairs for your 
par—■ 

Vera. I certainly did. (Long whistle from 

R°y-) 

Blake (entering with parasol). This it? 

Vera. Yes, indeed; thank you so much. 
Come with us now, do! Dr. Throckmorton will 
take your daughter, and you come with me. 

Blake. Wh-what! This time o’ day with the 
men a settin’ round on my pocketbook? I never 
done sech a thing in my life. 

Vera. Of course not, but it’s time to begin. 
The best farmers are not at all cld-fashioned, 
and I’m sure you’re one of the best I ever saw. 



vera’s vacation. 


31 


(Links her arm in his and draws him down R.) 
Let’s go. A row will do you good, and, besides, 
I want to talk to you about intensive farming. 
Really, I’m not so stupid as I look. I’m a niece 
of Carter Kibbard, you know. 

Blake. Carter Kibbard, the plow manufac¬ 
turer? You don’t say! He turns out a purty 
fair plow, purty fair. Comes dretful high, 
though. 

Vera (stopping). Ah, that reminds me. You 
wanted ten dollars for a new hat, didn’t you, 
Alice dear? Better give it to her now, Mr. 
Blake, before you lose your pocketbook at the 
pond. 

Alice (terrified). Oh, no, no—I—why—I—I 
didn’t say I wanted it. 

Vera. But you do. Girls are so stupid about 
asking for money, aren’t they, Mr. Blake? 
(Holds out hand for money.) I do love a gen¬ 
erous man. 

Blake (taking out his pocketbook gingerly). 
Don’t think I got nothin’ but a leetle change. 

Alice. Oh, don’t you remember you put a 
twenty-dollar bill in just a few minutes ago. 
Out by the oak—don’t you remember? 

Blake (reluctantly parting with the money). 
Wal, you see you git a fall an’ next summer’s 
hat with it, Alice. - Looks like you had ought to 
git a discount a buyin’ two that away. 

Mrs. Throckmorton (entering). Oh, Alice, 
come here a moment. (Draws Alice down L.) 






32 


VERAV VACATION. 


I have something to tell you. One of the rock¬ 
ers on my chair in the arbor has— 

Blake. Broke, I’ll bet. That’ll cost—(old 
lady looks terrified). 

Vera (quickly to Blake). You about.half an 
hour’s work to fix it. Let’s go do that first 
before we go to the pond. (To Alice.) You 
and Dr. Throckmorton go on. We’ll catch you. 
(Roy motions Alice to follow him. They exeunt 
R. C. Mrs. Throckmorton L. Back.) 

Blake. Why, dod-g-g-g-g-g—(stutters). 

Vera. Let’s hurry, or we shall be hurting the 
old lady’s feelings, and I know you wouldn’t do 
that for anything. You’re so big and brave and 
noble. 

Blake (expanding under the praise, but still 
rather parsimonious). Wal, I’ll do it this onct, 
but don’t you ast me to do nothin’ like that agin, 
fur I ain’t a goin’ ter do it. 

Vera. Your bark is very fierce, Mr. Blake, 
but I know you've got a tender heart. Let’s 
hurry. (Starts to exit R. C.) 

Mrs. Blake (entering L. Back). Oh, Josiah, 
Mrs. Weatherby’s just telephoned to say she 
can't pay that interest. (Very apologetically.) 
She’s been sick and there’s been trouble in the 
family. 

Blake. Why—who—what business has she 
got telephonin’ me she can’t p-p-p— 

Vera. She certainly doesn’t know you, does 
she? Otherwise she would feel sure you’d be 
glad to extend a little more time to her. 


vera’s vacation. 


33 


Blake (looking at Vera in surprise). Why, 
that wasn’t what I was a goin’ to say. I was a 
goin’ to say— 

Vera. Something nicer, I know, but we 
mustn’t linger if we’re going to fix that chair. 
Suppose Mrs. Blake telephones Mrs. Weatherby 
not to worry. That’ll save you some time and 
ease her mind. 

Mrs. Blake (eagerly). Can I really tell her 
that, Josiah? It’d sure tickle the poor old soul 
half to death. 

Vera. Don’t you know Mr. Blake is the most 
generous man in the country? Of course he 
wants you to telephone her that at once. (To 
Blake.) Don’t you? 

Blake. Why—I—I—wal, dod-g-g-g-g-g—gum 
it, hev you own way ef you’re so sot on it. 

Mrs. Blake. I’m so glad you’re going to be 
kind to her. You won’t regret it, I know. (Exit, 
smiling.) 

Blake. Who’re you to be all the time a med¬ 
dlin’ in my business, I’d like to know? I ain’t 
stood so much interference from nobody in all 
my life, I kin tell you that right now. 

Vera. You are mistaken, Mr. Blake; I haven’t 
been interfering. It’s just that I’ve known your 
generous impulses and I’ve tried to steal a little 
glory by stating them before you got the chance. 
I’m sort of a phonograph record, you see; but 
I beg your pardon for having offended you, and 
I assure you that you shall do the next generous 
thing all yourself without my butting in. 


34 


vera’s vacation. 


Toby (entering R. C.). Fred made me come! 

Blake. He did! Wal, what’s the rascal want 
now ? 

Toby. He says he’s got to knock off this at- 
ternoon to take his mother to the doctor. 

Blake. Why can’t she go herself ? 

Toby. He says she’s so narvous he’s afraid 
to let her walk that fur by herself. 

Blake. Wal, you tell him—(sees Vera re¬ 
garding him intently )—tell him he’s—he’s— 
(gulps) been workin’ purty faithful an (gulps) 
he kin take the atternoon off an’ drive the bay 
mare ef he wants to. 

Toby (in open-mouthed astonishment). Tell 
him what? 

Blake (testily). To go long an’ drive the bay 
mare. The exercise’ll do her good. 

Toby (backing toward R. C. as if he sees a 
ghost). Tell him to take the bay mare and 
drive his mother. 

Blake (roaring). No! Drive the bay mare 
and take his mother, you mut! 

Toby. Gosh! (Exit.) 

Vera (extending both hands to Blake). You’re 
a big man. I’m proud to know you, Mr. Blake. 

Blake (looking away uncomfortably). Why, 
I don’t know as I be. 

Alice (in distance). Aren’t you people ever 
coming ? 

Vera. We oughtn’t to keep them waiting any 
longer. Come on, do, let’s fix that chair. (Makes 
exit R. C.) 


vera’s vacation. 


35 


(Blake stands a moment looking after Vera. 
Then he scratches his head and follows her.) 
Blake. Durn it all, I’ll git even with her yit! 

Quick Curtain. 


ACT III. 

Scene.— Feed room in Josiah Blake’s barn. Bins 
line the wall at the rear. The corner L. Back contains 
bags of grain, R. Back is tilled with shovels, hoes, 
and other implements. There is a door R. C., and near 
it tzvo hooks covered until harness. Another door is 
found, L. C., and near it is a heap of old gunny sacks, 
a barrel and other rubbish. The center of the stage 
is occupied by a pile of hay and a small box. 

(Enter R. C. Vera, followed by Roy. She 
carries a basket; he, two eggs in each hand.) 

Roy (gingerly handling the eggs). If you 
don’t stop and take this egg fruit, I don’t know 
what I won’t do to you. 

Vera (stopping and extending basket). Well, 
put them in if you insist, but you know the adage 
about carrying all your eggs in one basket. (Roy 
complies.) Do you suppose there are any eggs 
here? (Hunts about.) We’ve got to find four 
more if Mrs. Blake makes me that farewell cake 
she's promised me, and she’d like some extra 
ones for dinner, I suspect. 

Roy (pawing over the hay and kicking gunny 
sacks). Don’t see any. 



36 


vera's vacation. 


Vera (seating herself on edge of hay). Mrs. 
Blake wants to beat up the eggs herself, so please 
get them whole, Mr. Man. 

Roy. Oh, I say, 1 don't want to hunt for eggs 
anyhow; I want to talk to you. (Comes and sits 
on box near Vera.) It makes me “plumb glu¬ 
minary,” as Toby says, to think of your going 
away to-morrow. 

Vera (smelling a wisp of hay). Um, but this 
is fragrant! I love it here, and I hate to go 
myself, but I was invited for only six weeks, 
and I can’t overstay, you know. 

Roy. Do you know whether or not you're pay¬ 
ing your board yet ? 

Vera. No, I don’t. I suppose I’ll find out 
to-morrow, but I hardly know how to go 
about it. 

Roy. Well, you certainly made over the old 
man. The things you've got him to do and say 
and the money you’ve inspired him to cough up 
have kept us all hah-hahing. You sure have 
mesmerized him. 

Vera (earnestly). That’s just what I’m 
afraid of. He’s certainly a dififerent man when 
I’m around, but will he keep it up when my in¬ 
fluence is removed ? 

Roy. You’re dealing in questions too large 
for me. 

Vera. My theory is that if he had a big fright 
now to clench matters, his reform would be 
complete. 

Roy. Fright? How? 




vera’s vacation. 


37 


Vera. We’ve got to lose Alice. 

Roy. She knows the country too well; that 
won’t work. 

Vera. If she were a different sort of a girl, 
we could take her into our confidence, but she 
would refuse to be a party to anything which 
would cause any one trouble. Therefore we 
must abduct her. 

Roy. Proceed, oh, wizardess, with your plans. 
Shall we have an automobile or an airship? 

Vera. It will be much more commonplace 
than that. I want you to give me some harmless 
pellet that will put her to sleep for a few hours 
and then I’ll arrange the rest. 

Roy. But what if she won’t take it? (Draws 
out medicine case reflectively.) 

Vera (rising). I think she will. I heard her 
say she had a headache this morning, and she’ll 
be glad of relief so as to help with the dinner 
her mother has promised to cook for an automo¬ 
bile party due about one. 

Alice (entering L. C.). I’ve been looking all 
through the barn for you people. Did you find 
any eggs? 

Vera. Not enough, I’m afraid. You come 
like the angels, upon mention. We’ve just been 
talking about you. How’s your head? 

Alice. It isn’t any better, thank you. I’m 
afraid I ate too much candy yesterday. 

Roy (shaking out a peliet on an envelope). 
I think I can give you something to help you, if 
you’ll allow me. 




38 


vera's vacation. 


Alice. Oh, will you? I'll be so grateful. 
(Takes pellet.) 

Roy. Wait a minute. I’ll run to the house 
and get you some water. It’s rather nasty, I’m 
afraid. (Makes hurried exit R. C.) 

Alice (swallowing pill). I learned to swallow 
things without water when 1 was a child. (Sits 
down on box, her head in her hands.) It cer¬ 
tainly does ache. 

Vera (putting her hands on Alice’s shoulders). 
Poor dear ! Can’t you he down ? 

Alice. Oh, goodness no! There's such a lot 
to do to-day! I think mother has pressed every¬ 
body on the place into service hunting eggs or 
something, and of course she needs me particu¬ 
larly. I’m sorry, too, for I thought we’d steal 
away this afternoon and go for a little drive. 
That’s out of the question, though, now. 

Vera (rubbing Alice’s head). You oughtn’t 
to try to work when you feel this way. Please 
let me put you to bed. 

Alice (rising sleepily). No—I—just—can’t. 

Vera. Stretch out on this nice sweet-smelly 
hay for a minute and let me massage the back 
of your neck. You know I used to help your 
headaches at college sometimes by doing that. 

Alice (settling down on hay dreamily). For 
—j ust—a—minute—then. 

Vera (rubbing Alice’s head). Relax! There, 
that’s it! You’ll feel better presently. 

Alice. I’d feel—better—now-if-1 

wasn’t—so-sleep-y. 










vera's vacation. 


39 


(There is a silence, during which Vera con¬ 
tinues her task of massaging.) 

Roy (entering R. C. with a glass of water). 
I’m sorry I was gone so long, but Mrs. Bundy 
met me, looking for her husband, and I couldn’t 
seem to get away from her. (Sees Alice.) 
What! Gone already ! 

Vera. Poor thing! She was awfully done up 
and tired. I’ll take that water, if you don’t know 
what to do with it. (Sips a little.) Now you 
must help me cover Alice with hay. (Sets glass 
in basket.) 

Roy (sifting hay over Alice). Oh, you robin! 

Vera (assisting). For goodness sakes give 
her a chance to breathe! There! I don't believe 
one would notice her unless one knew she was 
there. (Stands off and surveys work.) Now 
we must go and be ready to spread the alarm as 
soon as they miss her. (Picks up basket, goes 
to door R. C., Roy following.) 

Roy. I imagine that Miss Blake went to sleep 
from pure drowsiness. When that pellet works 
it ought to keep her in dreamland for several 
hours. 

(Exeunt both.) 

Bundy (entering L. C. with a huge magnify¬ 
ing glass. He walks about, studying the crevices 
in the walls). Yes, yes, here are some, i 
thought so. 

Toby (sticking his head in L. C.). Mother 
wants to know if you found any eggs? 

Bundy (absently). Yes—yes—a great many. 


40 


vera’s vacation. 


Toby (entering). Wal % give ’em here an’ I'll 
take ’em up to the house. She wants ’em as soon 
as she kin git ’em. 

Bundy (taking a slide from his pocket; also 
a pencil wrapped with cotton which he runs up 
and down one of the crevices, and then touches 
it to the slide). They are unusually fine ones; 
unusually fine. Give them to your mother with 
my compliments, and tell her that I can get her 
some more if she desires. (Hands slide to the 
amazed Toby.) 

Toby. Huh! I said eggs—hen’s eggs— 
e-g-g-s. Do you think we want to scramble any 
of your old spider stuff into our cakes? 

Bundy (severely). My dear young man, you 
go to a grocery store for poultry eggs. A barn 
is the habitat of various Diptera and Lepidop- 
tera; also Arachnida. 

Toby. Well, all I got to say is, you sure are 
buggy. 

Mrs. Bundy (off stage). Bundy, Bundy, dear! 

Bundy. Ho-ho! (Toby takes a shovel and 
makes exit L. C.) 

Mrs. Bundy (entering R. C.). Tee hee, what 
would you do if you didn't have a darling wife 
to look after you, Bundy? 

Bundy. I’d find more specimens, I’m sure. 

Mrs. Bundy (patting his head while Bundy 
stands and blinks at her). You dear old inno¬ 
cent, that’s not the right answer; besides, it isn’t 
true. You wouldn’t find more bugs, because 
you’d be dead of starvation. You’d never eat 


VERA'S VACATION. 


41 


your meals if it wasn’t for me. Come now, dear. 
Dinner’s on the table. 

Bundy (stubbornly). I must request that you 
go this once without me. I am pursuing an in¬ 
vestigation that I can’t interrupt at the present 
moment. (Takes a microscope from his pocket 
and sets it on the floor a little up stage and L. 
of hay pile.) Bring me out a glass of milk later 
in the afternoon, but don’t come for several hours, 
please. (Lies down on the floor, adjusts in the 
microscope a slide which he has touched with 
the cotton-wrapped pencil, and applies his eye to 
the glass.) 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee. If you only knew how 
funny you looked, Bundy, you’d get up from 
there and come to dinner. (Moves toward door 
R. C. and stands gazing at him curiously.) You 
love me, don’t you, Bundy? 

Bundy (absently). Yes, yes, my dear. 
(Pause. Finally he raises his head slowly.) 
Er—er—what is it I do, my dear? 

Mrs. Bundy (at door). Tee-hee, you funny 
old fuddle-head! Don’t use a tarantula for a 
handkerchief or a rattler for a pipe while I’m 
gone. (Exit R. C.) 

Bundy (ruminating). Women are very pe¬ 
culiar! (Applies eye to microscope.) H-m, 
that lens is dirty! Shockingly so! (Carefully 
removes slide and begins to clean the lens with 
his handkerchief.) 

Alice (sighing and throwing out one arm). 
Urn! 


42 


vera’s vacation. 


Bundy. What peculiar noises cows make! 
The cow is a very odd mammal, very! (Adjust¬ 
ing microscope again.) There, that’s better! 
(Alice stirs. Bundy stares at pile of hay.) Now 
what insect can be moving in that hay? (Rises 
and approaches the hay at the back.) I must 
watch for it when it comes out. 

Vera (entering R. C. with Roy). I’ve brought 
a book, and I think Td better stay and watch the 
hay for fear somebody should try to pitchfork 
Alice. 

Roy. And I’ll stay with you. 

Vera. No, you mustn’t. (Sees Bundy.) Oh, 
heavens, there’s Bundy! Get him away, quick! 
(Vera hastens down stage and furtively recov¬ 
ers Alice while Roy engages Bundy.) 

Roy. We missed you at dinner, Mr. Bundy. 

Bundy (his eyes on the hay). Yes? 

Roy. Sure. Been in this hole all the time? 

Bundy (returning to his microscope). Yes. 
Er—what was it you asked? 

Roy. I say, have you seen anything? 

Bundy. Yes, yes. The haystack for one 
thing. It moves in a peculiar way. I’m waiting 
to see the insect that comes out of it. 

(Vera promptly sits down in front of Alice 
and opens her book.) 

Mrs. Bundy (entering with a basket). Tee- 
hee, is this the only cozy corner you people could 
find? It doesn’t look very romantic to me. (To 
Bundy.) Bundy, dear, it’s nearly five o’clock, 
and you haven’t had anything to eat. 


vera’s vacation. 


43 


Bundy (much absorbed). I haven’t time to 
eat. 

Mrs. Bundy (determinedly). Tee-hee, you’re 
so funny when you try to be stern, Bundy. 
(Stands behind him and takes a piece of pie 
from her basket.) Here, I’ll feed you. Take a 
bite of this. (Bundy takes a bite without look¬ 
ing up, and she continues to feed him pickles 
and pie during her lines.) Have you seen Miss 
Blake, Dr. Throckmorton ? 

Roy. No, I don’t see her—I—er—mean I 
haven’t seen her. 

Vera. Why—do you want her? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, no, but her mother 
does. She’s been missing from the house most 
of the day, and they’re beginning to get worried 
about her. 

Roy. What’s a day! That isn’t much! 

Vera. Haven’t they any idea where she is? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, they haven’t the slight¬ 
est. It seems she isn’t in the habit of going off, 
so they are especially anxious. 

Blake (entering R. C.). Any you folks seen 
Alice? 

Bundy. Why, I guess I saw her going toward 
the pond. Now let me see—was it she? Yes, 
I saw her going down there either to-day or yes¬ 
terday. I think it was to-day. 

Blake. After them lilies again. Like as not 
she’s fell in. I’d be ’bleeged to ye, Dr. Throck¬ 
morton, ef ye’d go down an’ help the boys look. 


44 


vera's vacation. 


I’m a goiir ter hitch up an' rouse the neighbors. 
(Takes harness off the hooks.) 

Roy. HI be glad to do what I can. Come on, 
Mr. Bundy. (Excitedly.) Every minute may 
count. (Makes exit, running. Bundy follows 
more leisurely.) 

Mrs. Blake (entering, terrified). Josiah, Fred 
says he saw her goin’ up the mill road. 

Blake (fumbling with the harness). He did! 
Thar ain’t no tellin’ what'll happen to her up 
that away. A catamount'll eat her or the gyp¬ 
sies ’ll kerry her off, or somethin’. 

Mrs. Blake (wringing her hands). Father! 
Father! Do somethin'! Don’t stand there like 
a stone. Hurry ! Oh, hurry ! 

Blake (petulantly). Dod-g-gast this harness. 
It’s all tangled. (Helplessly.) I can’t untangle 
the blamed thing. Dang it all, I’ll give five- 
three hundred dollars to the one that finds her. 
(Calls.) Fred! Fred! (Man in overalls enters 
hastily.) Get on a horse an’ go ast the neighbors 
fur help. If ye git back this side of half hour, 
I’ll double your wages. (Man runs out.) Dod- 
gz-gast it all! Where can that gal be ? 

Mrs. Bundy. I’m sure she’ll turn up all right, 
Mr. Blake. 

Blake. No, she won’t. I have a feelin’ she 
won’t. I ain’t never been very good to her, an’ 
I’m a bein’ punished, that’s all. 

Mrs. Throckmorton (entering). Oh, Mrs. 
Blake, I have something important to tell you. 
(Draws Mrs. Blake down stage.) 


vera’s vacation. 


45 


Mrs. Blake. What? Oh, what? 

Mrs. Throckmorton. I just thought you ought 
to know I spilled some Red Seal ink on that table 
cover in my room. 

Blake. Ain’t ye heard my Alice’s lost? 

Mrs. Throckmorton. Haven’t you found her 
yet ? 

Mrs. Blake (agonized). No, oh, no! If you 
could only help us, Mrs. Throckmorton. 

Mrs. 7 hrockmorton. I can’t bear to think of 
that pretty young girl being lost—so sweet and 
pretty she was, and so agreeable, too. 

Toby (rushing in with lighted lantern). They 
think they’ve found her down by the river. Come 
quick! 

Mr. Blake. Oh, God, spare me this, and I’ll 
lead a different life from now on. (Turns and 
runs after Toby, and is followed by all save 
Vera—the women more or less hysterical.) 

Vera. Whew, it’s getting dark! Wonder if 
they didn’t see me? (Begins pulling hay off 
Alice.) I hate to wake her up, but I must. 
Alice, dear, Alice ! Wake up ! 

Alice (drowsily). I set the table last night. 

Vera. Wake up, I say! They think you’re 
lost and everybody’s nearly crazy. 

Alice (pettishly). Why should they be? I’ve 
only been asleep a little while. 

Vera. You’ve been asleep a long while, and 
I suppose they’re doubly worried because you 
never leave the place without telling them. I 
must let them know. (Runs to door R. C. and 









46 


vera’s vacation. 


shouts.) Safe! Found! Safe! Fve found her! 
(Listens a moment and then makes a megaphone 
of her hands.) At the barn! (Comes back to 
Alice, who is sitting upon the hay.) How’s your 
head, dear? 

Alice. Better, and I’m so hungry. 

Vera. That’s a good sign. I’ll get you some¬ 
thing to eat in a minute. 

(The searchers burst into the room, greatly 
excited. The farmhands a'nd other men carry 
lanterns.) 

Blake. Where’s my gal? Where is she? 
(Sees Alice.) It’s true, bless God, it’s true. 
Come kiss your old father, daughter. (Mrs. 
Blake sinks on box and dabs at her eyes with 
her handkerchief.) 

Roy (to Vera). Here’s a telegram for you. 
I hope it isn’t bad news. (The excitement cools 
down immediately, and eyes are focused on 
Vera.) The station agent has just sent it up. 

Vera (reading the telegram). It’s only to say 
that my sleeper reservations are made for to¬ 
morrow. 

Blake (stepping forward with one arm around 
Alice). You ain’t a goin’ to-morry, an’ that’s 
all there is to it. You got to stay , an’ help us 
celebrate. You’ve been a boarder up to now, but 
fur the rest o’ the summer you kin stay on fur 
nothin’. 

Alice (in distress). No, father, no. She’s not 
a boarder. She’s been my guest till now. I—I 


vera’s vacation. 


47 


— (she is plainly dazed by all that is going on 
around her.) 

Blake (hastily). That don’t affect it none. 
If she’s been your guest fur six weeks, she’ll be 
mine fur the next six. Don’t know when I’ve 
taken sech a likin’ to nobody. 

Vera. You are ever so good to me, but— 
but— 

Blake. They ain’t a goin’ to be no buts. 
You’re a goin’ ter stay now an’ you’re a cornin’ 
back to be our guest every single summer atter 
this. 

Vera (somewhat affected). Dear Mr. Blake, 
you’re so much better to me than I deserve that 
I’m going to tell you why I’d like to accept your 
invitation to stay a little longer and why I can’t 
come back next summer. (Extends hand to 
Roy.) We’ve found, Dr. Throckmorton and I, 
that—that— 

Blake. That don't affect my offer at all. We’ll 
keep the two places set at the table fur ye both. 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee-tee-hee, I told you so, 
Bundy. 

Bundy. Er—er—what was it you told me, 
my dear? 

Mrs. Bundy. Tee-hee, I said Vera was mak¬ 
ing use of her vacation. 


Curtain. 









OJIjn?? Nm 

— BY — 

EFFIE LOUISE KOOGLE. 

Author of “In Music-Land," “Kris Kringle 
Jingles ," “ The Colonial Song Novelties ,” etc. 


The songs of this composer are always 
more than singable ; they combine a quaint 
freshness, and a novel appropriateness that 
is unusual. These new songs will be wel¬ 
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fulness. 


fl Winter Enllaby. 

Surelv a provoker of pleasant dreams. 
Beautiful lullabies are always popular, and 
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the happy combination of sensible words, 
appropriate for any singer, the soulful mu¬ 
sical setting, the effective expression, the 
dainty and fitting piano part, and the sooth¬ 
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medium voice (d to e). 35 cents. 


tittle thanksgiving Workers. 

An action song for one or more little 
girls. Describes the preparation for the an¬ 
nual feast-day most effectively. A pleasing 
melody which little singers will relish. 
Not difficult. Especially appropriate for 
Thanksgiving, but can be adapted to any 
other day. 25 cents. 


thankful Bobby. 

A solo for a small boy. A delightful 
thanksgiving number. Expressive words, 
a tuneful melody with range suited to a 
small boy’s voice, and an appropriate ac¬ 
companiment. Bobby gives good reasons 
for being thankful — from a boy’s view¬ 
point. 25 cents. 

MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers, 
208, 210, 212 Wright Ave„ Lebanon, Ohio. 






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MARCH BROTHERS, Publishers 

208, 210, 212 Wright Avenue, LEBANON, OHIO 

































